~HaileyHAVOC

So today (June 28th) is 6 months with Mr. Devin Nicholis Parker. I'm really excited about this... its strange though at the same time. I never intended for any of this to happen. I knew i liked him a lot, and i knew that the last 5 people i had dated i got bored of after a month so the odds werent good for us. And he asked me out. the first time i said no. but like a few months later i finally gave in. I was really really scared to hurt him. But i now i know that i'm not going to. I want to spend my life with this kid. December 28th sitting in my room with Parker, my sister, Shane, and Max; me and Parker kept wrestling and he tackled me and he fell between the bed and the wall. He looked at me and kissed me. It was amazing... he had me. A while later we were talking and i was laying down... my (stupid) sister texted him from 4 feet away and it said to ask me out. He told her i wasnt ready. And i asked him what they were talking about and he wouldnt tell me... finally i got him to (im a girl, we have mystical powers) and i whispered in his ear... "but i am ready". he looked at me and said "will you go out with me?" baha i didnt hear him at first so i was like"...what?" he told me later that he thought that was my way of shutting him down... AGAIN! but he repeated it and i looked at him and said "of course..." smiling. we've been dating ever since. some of the best moments of my life ive had with him. he was one of the only guys who i knew who didnt pressure me into anything. He respected me, and loved me. I love you Parker. Your the most important thing in the world to me. I wanna be with you forever. Te quiero mi amor... yo quiero mi vida contigo y no quiero estar sin ti...

for my little icon guy

so im leaving for mexico in oh about 2 and a half hours. I'll be there till June 7th. Its hard cuz my phone would get charged hardcorely to talk or text out there but i dont even care cuz i have to talk to parker. He made me sad. I love you so much. Ill never do anything to hurt you and im yours forever. We'll make it through this i promise. Devin Nicholis Parker.... your the one and not anything... even me being away for 8 days can hurt US. Im yours. No one elses. Till death do us part....



-I'll be there when your heart stops beating, I'll be there when your last breath's taken away. In the dark when there's no one listening, in the times when we both get carried away.

pretty much im feeling very torn right now, idk. im like all emo tonight. I had a panic attack last night and i feel another one coming on... idk last night i was upset about something but i honestly dont know why im all emo today... idk. everything is just complicated and confusing. i miss the boy... it pretty much feels like he's been grounded forever and it really sucks. i think i might write about him for a little while cuz i know itll make me happy =]
he says that he doesnt deserve me but he doesnt know how wrong he is. i cant explain how much i love him. its like right now i can feel something in my heart. like it feels warm. i dont know how to explain it. but if youve felt it you know what i mean. as cliche as it sounds i want to be with him all the time, he's nerdy and immature sometimes and can be a little eccentric but everything about him makes me love him even more. how do you know you love someone... hm... well when you think about them at random times throughout the day and just smile to yourself, when you seriously dont know what you would do if they ever left or anything ever happened to them, when you love them for their flaws... everything that is strange and odd about him makes me fall more in love with him. he does stupid shit and it makes me laugh. i love that he's human. that i dont feel completly inferior when im with him. he makes me feel good about myself. like someone really loves me and cares about me. hes the only person that has ever made me cry out of being happy. the only one that i can see myself with 20 years from now. i want it with him all of it. my life. my world. i want him in it. Hes my everything. he's the one.


I love you hun,

Hailey

what the hell is going on. but i feel like im gonna cry and have a panic attack. and that sucks cuz im at school.


...im confused...